I’ve just read, I’d Trade My Husband for a Housekeeper by Trisha Ashworth. I really liked her perspective on the relationship of man and wife after the introduction of kids. I think she’s written about something that’s been unsaid for so long. In a marriage a relationship changes. I met my husband in high school, but I’m a much different woman now then I was then, at least I hope so.I think as we change our marriages change too, with jobs, goals, pets and kids. Of course your relationship changes with kids, YOU change with kids. You are a different person as a mother than you were when you were a wife. I know that my mindset changed, my goals were tweaked.
What I didn’t expect was the strain my marriage would have. Yes, we love each other, but damn we’re tired. We have to compromise on a lot more than dinner now. Who does what around the house, who gets up for the 12 or 3 am feeding, sex tonight or next month? For example, who’s the “bad cop” and who’s the “good cop”? I know we didn’t discuss this and if we did it wasn’t a serious conversation.
This book helps you think of questions you may not have thought of asking each other. There are bullet pointed sections, short antecdotes, quizzes that have you answering honestly and steps to help you communicate or keeps you in check. I loved that it was written for someone who was short on time and has a sleep-deprived “mommy brain”. It was easy to flip through and easy to read and had me uh-huh-ing and shaking my head yes enough to capture my husband’s attention.
The book definately helps you reevaluate your goals as a person, mother and wife.
It’s a great conversation starter with your husband. It’s even better if you can have a conversation with your husband without the kiddos flinging cheerios. It might be the best if your husband can sit down and answer questions without a sarcastic comment like, “Are we going to talk about our feelings now?”
I’m going to try and use this book to help my husband and I to reconnect. It was nice to read a perspective similar to my own, I knew I wasn’t the only one out there in a whirlwind of mommyhood/marriage confusion.
Hope it helps you too.