Today I saw my son for the first time as “growing up”. Yes, he’s going to be four next week, but it’s got me thinking about the man he’s going to be. Already he’s got a smart mouth – “I’m not doing it!” What the heck is he going to be like when he’s 13! How am I going to raise this kid to be respectful without threatening him within an inch of his life or sending him off to military school? So far I’m just letting it go for now, I mean maybe he’s just acting out because we have a new baby in the house. I’m hoping this is just a phase. Please be a phase so I don’t have to resort to calling Nanny 911. I plan on spending some “special” time with him when I can get a chance, maybe when the baby is sleeping… right.
It occurred to me what will he be like when he’s older? When he’s married? When he’s elderly? Who will care for him like I do? This thought has led me to look at my own relationships with others. I’d like to be a better wife, one I would want my son to find, modeling this behavior now will help him in the future. It also lets me see my mother in law in a whole new light. I have a better respect for her knowing she’s had to let her son, go. I’d rather not think of that right now.
Who will care for my son when he’s elderly? It occurred to me tonight as I was rubbing his back, who will comfort him? No one comforts the elderly like they comfort children. I’m having a hard time with that right now. Maybe it’s because I have lost my parents and I know one day he will lose us. I also think about my grandparents living and deceased. How are they /were they comforted? I guess I can’t do anything about the future. I can just love my boys while I can. I’m realizing life is so short.